Imperfect Plans — a note to myself
“Tomorrow’s gonna be a good day.” That’s what I tell myself every night before switching off the lights and falling into sleep. “Tomorrow’s gonna be a good day,” I think to myself as I replay and rewind the plan for tomorrow in my head. It’s reassuring to know that there’s a plan. A plan to keep me on the right path. A plan so I wouldn’t stray from my goals. A plan so tomorrow will be fulfilling and fruitful.
Blinking open my eyes, tomorrow has arrived. First thing in my mind: follow the plan.
The usual routine takes place. Get ready. Have breakfast. Do some yoga. Journal a little. Except, the journaling part didn’t happen today because lunch came around earlier than expected. One thing off from my picture perfect plan. A small thing — but really, it twisted my sunny mood a little bit.
Time goes on. The day goes on. Read a book. Check. Great! I’m getting back on track with my plan.
It’s time to do some creative writing. But, the creativity… didn’t… come. Not a spark. Not an inspiration. Not a word. I ended up staring blankly into a computer screen for three hours. Not an exaggeration.
This is unacceptable! Nuts, I tell you! Guacamole on a stick! No, I couldn’t accept it. The only solution, to me, was to scold myself and regret everything, and be in a terrible mood.
Clearly, the plan was ruined. But, in truth, the plan was ruined every other day before that. No one said I was able to cross everything off my bulky to-do list.
Plans — they don’t always go as planned. Sometimes they twist and turn like a slithering river. Sometimes they don’t happen at all like winter in a tropical isle. Successful plans, shattered plans, forgotten plans. I think I must learn not to cling onto them so much. So much so that it can control my attitude, confidence, and mindset.
The plans will always be there, but, if something doesn’t go according to it, can I learn to follow the flow and let go of its expectations? Expectations of a perfect day full to the brim of joy and smiles… perfect… but days aren’t perfect after all. There will always be flaws and imperfections. Let those expectations go.
I want to learn to find the enjoyment and thrill of a fallen plan.
I want to learn to treasure the present and be in the present.
I want to follow where my heart takes me, as opposed to a piece of paper.
I want to learn to unfurl out of the limiting environment of following a plan closely, strictly — and grow like a sunflower, following — catching the light — catching the fun.
I want to learn to take imperfect plans as a seed for a new idea, a new found love, an adventure.
I want to learn to ride its wave.
At the end of the day, we need plans to keep us rooted in our intention. But, what we don’t need is to be stuck in them.
— Solaia